Don't make out with my wife yet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
