Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
