i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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