It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize