At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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