We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
