As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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