I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize