I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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