I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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