She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
