Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
