oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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