Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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