so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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