Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize