Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
