I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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