Sponge bath it is.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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