Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
