You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
