hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
