He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
