Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize