I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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