Where is the hickey?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
