so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
