I just saw a hot homeless man
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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