I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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