so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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