The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
