Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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