Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
