Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
