I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
