Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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