Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
