Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
