The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
