So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
