My hand turned me down
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
