Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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