JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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