I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
