It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
