1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
