Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize