So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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