i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
