no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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