it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i've created a new STD.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
