Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
