My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
