The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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