you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
