i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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