i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
